{"id":176234,"date":"2023-12-06T21:30:11","date_gmt":"2023-12-06T21:30:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/?p=176234"},"modified":"2023-12-06T21:30:11","modified_gmt":"2023-12-06T21:30:11","slug":"seasons-groanings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/2023\/12\/06\/seasons-groanings\/","title":{"rendered":"Seasons Groanings"},"content":{"rendered":"Other peoples lives always look better (Or worse) on social media don&#8217;t they? I have had a pretty much life long struggle with mental health issues. Sometimes the demons win and sometimes I do. Often its a slightly wary and anxious truce ready to be triggered by some random incident that can&#8217;t be dealt with. Lack of control in my life certainly is often the thing that pushes the buttons. I am still here just about. Often I do wonder how I have managed to stick around this long really. Getting the balance right between staying in a safe space and getting on with life is not always easy. Often due to life circumstances I do find social situations difficult as whilst I like people I don&#8217;t have the knack of mixing easily, much as I would like to. So I do what I can when I can, usually a long the lines of &#8220;Feel the fear and do it anyway&#8221;. These days I don&#8217;t take any meds for my mental well being. I had spent about 15 years or so on various SSRI&#8217;s (Fluoxetine, Citalopram, Prozac, with apologies to a few others I forgot to mention). Yes, they did help in crisis quite a lot. Long term they were and can be a problem for me personally as they tended to cause a little too much disinhibition. Its nice to have adventures but sometimes they can end up being self destructive.\n\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/w.soundcloud.com\/player\/?url=https%3A\/\/api.soundcloud.com\/tracks\/1537965295&amp;color=%23e49864&amp;auto_play=false&amp;hide_related=false&amp;show_comments=true&amp;show_user=true&amp;show_reposts=false&amp;show_teaser=true\" width=\"100%\" height=\"166\" frameborder=\"no\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe>\n\n<div style=\"font-size: 10px; color: #cccccc; line-break: anywhere; word-break: normal; overflow: hidden; white-space: nowrap; text-overflow: ellipsis; font-family: Interstate,Lucida Grande,Lucida Sans Unicode,Lucida Sans,Garuda,Verdana,Tahoma,sans-serif; font-weight: 100;\"><a style=\"color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;\" title=\"Diana Stones Glasscage\" href=\"https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/dianastone\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Diana Stones Glasscage<\/a> \u00b7 <a style=\"color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;\" title=\"Is It Falling On You\" href=\"https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/dianastone\/is-it-falling-on-you\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Is It Falling On You<\/a><\/div>\n\nOddly I find that Facebook&#8217;s groups like the depression or anxiety fora are not so helpful though they logically should be. My experience has been that in most places support for depression is often little more than lip service sadly. The truth is that people like myself may well not be able to do productive work for extended periods of time and frankly most employers outside the public sector can&#8217;t accommodate that long term. I can do stuff, but even disregarding my age I couldn&#8217;t do a full time day job too well. I would turn up but would often be late or simply have brain fog days where I couldn&#8217;t do much or get in a sudden panic under pressure or loose my temper&#8230;.\n\nThe notion that we can all do useful work that the government has is fanciful. Remploy and similar organisations did work for some people giving them a bit of purpose and dignity. Also without sounding like an entitled elitist git, there us a difference between experiencing depression between say a person with 136 IQ and some body with just enough mental horse power to function though the suffering is real enough. Someone like myself is able to pursue far more actively therapeutic interventions solo, where as others will need &#8220;carers&#8221; of some description just to function of course. I can write great opuses and songs an inflict my misery on the world, but some other poor souls may have nothing but banging there head or someone else&#8217;s against the wall in despair?\n\nMy mood is sort of neutral at present to be honest. I have been doing the usual stuff music and so forth. I brought a new keyboard (from amazon), not that expensive but it will do a few things that the others don&#8217;t. Its the first new bit of music kit since 2008, and I am still figuring out how to use it properly. It will be ideal for solo efforts live as well as recordings. Its lightweight and portable. \u00a3260 but equivalent or slightly better one that I use live that cost me \u00a3800 in 2008. I am ticking over really. it was a nice sunny but cold day at least as I was out briefly. No musical outings scheduled until Friday the 15th (next rehearsal). There is an Irish pub thing on Sunday I could go to if I get desperate for a live music fix in Bedford though.\n\nAnd in conclusion I hate Christmas, but its nothing personal. Ho, Ho, Ho, go and jingle your bells elsewhere you noisy lot&#8230;.\n\n<!-- \/wp:post-content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Other peoples lives always look better (Or worse) on social media don&#8217;t they? I have had a pretty much life long struggle with mental health issues. Sometimes the demons win and sometimes I do. Often its a slightly wary and anxious truce ready to be triggered by some random incident that can&#8217;t be dealt with. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/2023\/12\/06\/seasons-groanings\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Seasons Groanings<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-176234","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-musings"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6NRDR-JQu","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":176752,"url":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/2024\/02\/28\/what-are-you-running-from-or-towards\/","url_meta":{"origin":176234,"position":0},"title":"What Are You Running From Or Towards","author":"diana Stone","date":"February 28, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"As time passes friends fall by the wayside so often I find. Sometimes it's just because interests change and we naturally drift apart. Though at my age now it seems that a few just vanish back in to stardust and billion year old carbon in the ultimate cosmic recycling machine.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Delta Ladies&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Delta Ladies","link":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/category\/diana_stones_songs\/delta-ladies-diana_stones_songs\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2014-11-13-17.26-0178-Dianas-Visit.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2014-11-13-17.26-0178-Dianas-Visit.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2014-11-13-17.26-0178-Dianas-Visit.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2014-11-13-17.26-0178-Dianas-Visit.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2014-11-13-17.26-0178-Dianas-Visit.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":179271,"url":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/2025\/09\/09\/another-cunning-plan-possibly\/","url_meta":{"origin":176234,"position":1},"title":"Another Cunning Plan Possibly","author":"diana Stone","date":"September 9, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"A few reasonable nights sleep recently, sleeping right through sometimes. That's not happened for a couple of years. Maybe related to herbal meds helping or not who knows. A little bit weary with the state of things still though. I am a bit anxious about doing stuff generally at the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Musings&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Musings","link":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/category\/musings\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/Farout.png?fit=618%2C412&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/Farout.png?fit=618%2C412&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/Farout.png?fit=618%2C412&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":176674,"url":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/2024\/02\/25\/fomo-and-more\/","url_meta":{"origin":176234,"position":2},"title":"FOMO and more","author":"diana Stone","date":"February 25, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Well I messed up again. I tried to get along to a songwriters showcase locally to listen and didn't get through the door. I have had a really bad time in the last few weeks trying to do stuff on my own to form a few more connections in my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Musings&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Musings","link":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/category\/musings\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/field-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/field-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/field-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/field-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/field-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":179434,"url":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/2025\/11\/06\/november-begins\/","url_meta":{"origin":176234,"position":3},"title":"November Begins","author":"diana Stone","date":"November 6, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"To me it feels different. in 2007 I was still doing the civil service day job, recording my own music and playing 2 to 3 gigs a week with Elephant Shelf so to me I often feel becalmed in relative terms. My mind is always active but my body can't\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Musings&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Musings","link":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/category\/musings\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/the-best-car-we-ever-had.jpg?fit=1149%2C729&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/the-best-car-we-ever-had.jpg?fit=1149%2C729&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/the-best-car-we-ever-had.jpg?fit=1149%2C729&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/the-best-car-we-ever-had.jpg?fit=1149%2C729&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/the-best-car-we-ever-had.jpg?fit=1149%2C729&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":175687,"url":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/2023\/02\/28\/proceed-in-an-orderly-fashion\/","url_meta":{"origin":176234,"position":4},"title":"Proceed in an orderly fashion.","author":"diana Stone","date":"February 28, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Indeed why would you not to be fair. We are nearly at the end of February. Musical projects role along in the usual way. Boldly going forward because we can't find reverse. I am now officially a pensioner by my own governments definition. I shall now buy a union jack\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Musings&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Musings","link":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/category\/musings\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/fitting-in--e1704196276157.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/fitting-in--e1704196276157.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/fitting-in--e1704196276157.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/fitting-in--e1704196276157.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":179258,"url":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/2025\/09\/04\/september-rain\/","url_meta":{"origin":176234,"position":5},"title":"September rain","author":"diana Stone","date":"September 4, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"It's been a wet start to this month so far. I have spent too much time staring at screens this past couple of days, drives you mad I think...Having a brief fraying around the edges moment I think. Today I am a bit listless. I can't commence on the headlight\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Musings&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Musings","link":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/category\/musings\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/places-where-my-music-was-played-today.png?fit=1178%2C563&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/places-where-my-music-was-played-today.png?fit=1178%2C563&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/places-where-my-music-was-played-today.png?fit=1178%2C563&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/places-where-my-music-was-played-today.png?fit=1178%2C563&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/places-where-my-music-was-played-today.png?fit=1178%2C563&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/176234","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=176234"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/176234\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":176237,"href":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/176234\/revisions\/176237"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=176234"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=176234"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glass-cage.com\/dianas_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=176234"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}