Author: stone2013

The “Gestalt prayer” is a 56-word statement by psychotherapist Fritz Perls that is taken as a classic expression of Gestalt therapy as way of life model of which Dr. Perls was a founder.

The key idea of the statement is the focus on living in response to one’s own needs, without projecting onto or taking introjects from others. It also expresses the idea that it is by fulfilling their own needs that people can help others do the same and create space for genuine contact; that is, when they “find each other, it’s beautiful”.

Text of “prayer”

I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.
If not, it can’t be helped.
(Fritz Perls, 1969)

Impact and legacy

The prayer is well known in gestalt and psychotherapy circles, where it is generally taken as a summarising statement of the philosophy of personal independence central to gestalt therapy. This philosophy still attracts critics, generally arguing that interpersonal relationships require real, hard work to maintain. Supporters counter that an attitude of independence does not refute this, but rather encourages people to realise that relationships need not be founded on obligation or expectation. The prayer remains popular in general culture, although the last line is sometimes omitted. In academic discussion, it sometimes acts as a starting point for debate around issues of autonomy and interdependence.

Ego is the biggest problem. Why do so many people want others to fail. What is it about human nature that makes folks expend so much energy on trying to stop others from succeeding, instead of sorting out whats really bugging them instead. Jealousy perhaps? Why is necessary to expend so much energy getting around the roadblocks that these people create. Answers on a postcard please.

Me, Menno and friends after the Greta Garbitch show at the Celler door recently.

I played two gigs this weekend: at Charlotte St Blues on Friday with Elephant Shelf in front of quite a big crowd and at the Garibaldi in St Alban’s as half of the Delta Ladies.  Both gigs went really well but could not be more different though both audiences were very enthusiastic.  I often think I only really come alive when I am playing and that seems be the case at present.  Its going to be quite busy until the start of November as I have another three gigs this week and if I could keep going at this rate most of my problems would be solved.

Earlier in the week I did my Cabaret turn at the Cellar Door with Greta Garbitch (AKA Menno) which we had a really good crowd attending too. Then as a complete contrast I met up with Glenn Patrick who plays Blues and is from the States and we played a few acoustic numbers  round at Vicky Martins place with Terry our drummer also in attendance. Glen turns out to be a very nice guy with a lot of interesting music anecdotes  as well as a really good musician.the reason that we all met up was Vicky was doing an interview for Blues Matters magazine.

Glenn has a website here  >>  http://www.glennpatrik.com/ well worth a visit.

http://pahire.livemusiclondon.com/

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Ecclesiastes 2:14

I have seen everything that is done under the sun;and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind.

2:17

And I applied my mind to wisdom and to know madness and folly, and I perceived that this also is but a striving after wind.
For in wisdom there is much vexation, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.

2:15

Then I said to myself “what befalls the fool will befall me also; why for most  I been so very wise?”. And I said to myself this also is vanity.  For of the wise man as of the fool there is no enduring remembrance, seeing the days to come all will have been long forgotten. How the wise man dies just like the fool! So I hated life, because what is done under the sun is grievous to me; for all is vanity and a striving after wind.

Confucius gave his career advice more than 2500 years ago, but truer words of wisdom have never been spoken. How many of us began our careers, not because of passion we felt for the vocation, but through the well-intended advice of parents, teachers, a college counselor, or just because the job was available when we needed it? We may have through at the start, “This first job is just a start, something temporary until I figure out what I really want to do…” Then, before you know it, 5 (or more) years have passed, you’re making pretty good money, and the thought of changing careers is a distant memory. How many of us are truly passionate about what we do for a living? What does your temperament have to do with it? Are Idealists happier than, say, Rationals when it comes to career choice? What makes Idealists satisfied with their careers, and conversely, if they’re not currently satisified, what would help?

At last a good Rock & Roll picture… 

Taken by Roger Morton.
He takes great Photos which you
can see here.

http://www.fantasticphotos.org/elephantshelf/charlottest/index.htm 

Elephant Shelf accompanying Glenn Patrik on his first UK Gig 
http://www.fantasticphotos.org/thebluesroom/glennpatrik/index.htm

OK I think I am out of gas now, maybe its just the effect of not having the normal mood medication due to having the flu, but I feel really strange and I need some help from someone outside my present circle. My mind is clear as long as I am dealing with other matters than my own problems, which I seem to be spectacularly bad at just now. I keep getting these really odd moments when I think I can actually dig my way out of this hole the way other people do but it seems that for me that just being able to to use the abilities which I do have that are not too shabby is nowhere near enough to do the job.It is said that people rise to there own level of incompetence. I believe that I have transcended most levels of incompetency and moved to a point where I can delude myself sufficiently to go repeating the sathe  mistakes. I have no real confidence that there is any point in trying to do anything now as trying and not trying seem to have produce the same outcome. There is a message being sent to me but maybe I am simply not getting it. What makes things worse is that I can see the possibility of the way things could be and its always just that little bit out of reach.

Am I mearly a fly in the ointment of existence? I have had a couple of recent knock backs that have rocked me a bit.That plus a dose of flu and and a new level of insight have left me wondering what the best course of action is? I have been looking at jobs outside the music arena and I have applied for around 30 in about 2 weeks. So far out of 30 the score is 1 interview, I canceled interview and 2 no thank you very much. I understand that at present it takes about 200 applications to get a job, so I guess I need to pull my finger out a bit really. I like to cling to the possibly misguided notion that I do have some saleable skills but of course these may simply be delusional episodes.